Friday Funnies: 10 Signs You Are A Grammar Nerd

[achacunsagloire.livejournal.com]

When you're a grammar nerd, there's nothing quite like seeing an entire scroll's worth of Facebook status updates filled with erroneous grammar to make your skin crawl.  It's even worse if you find yourself immersed in a gripping read (that you paid for, too) only to spy--gasp!--an incorrectly conjugated verb that the editor failed to notice.  And let's not even get started on how much you want to scream when you see a misspelling in your own work.

In short: it's hard out here for a grammar nerd.  Your Gen-Ed Writing peers hate you and your amazing grades; your friends groan when they receive notifications from you because nine times out of time you've only pointed out their incorrect use of "there" without even mentioning how cute their dog looks in a pink tutu; and society reviles you as some hoity-toity know-it-all who can't get no satisfication.  (Wait. What?)

But let's be real: hoity-toity know-it-alls are the people who get things done, and in the world of English grammar, you pack it, you package it, and you sell it hotter than "Supernatural" slash fanfiction.  We at fandom_grammar appreciate your contribution to the world of linguistics (as well as internet posts that don't assault the eye to the point of inducing physical pain), and so does the English language.  Give yourself a pat on the back, Cupcake; you've earned it.

And while you're flapping that scrawny hand of yours against your shoulder blade like a dusty old fan belt, check out this list that Grammarly, a grammar-oriented Facebook page run by grammar nerds (like you!), posted:

Much more accurate than that one "Which Mean Girls Character Are You?" quiz that said you were Karen Smith instead of Janis Ian, eh?

I believe we can add "11. Seeing 'could of' in the place of 'could have' grates your nerves like an iron file on a gutter pipe" to the list.

Anyone got a 12?  13?  14?  71?

Comments

[navyvet90.livejournal.com]

Omg, I do 7 out of 10. I totally agree with your # 11; drives me nuts. Another pet peeve of mine is someone writing 'loose' when they mean 'lose.' I see it all the time. I really hate it when I spend money on e-books that have all kinds of errors. Whatever happened to proof-reading? What kind of editors are those authors using?
I enjoyed your post! :-)

[achacunsagloire.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that a lot of people who publish via internet (a.k.a. self-publishers) have access to editors--at least, not professional-grade editors. Editors of that caliber would most likely require some sort of compensation for editing an entire book, and self-publishers typically don't make enough off of their work to merit hiring someone to do something that they themselves could do. But the rub is that self-editing is hard to do; you wrote it, and therefore you know what it should say. So, while you're reading, you read what you know it's supposed to say, not what it actually says. It's something that takes some time to do and would require the self-publisher to set aside the work for a while and focus on something else. And, well, who isn't ready to post something the minute that they finish it? xD

But anyway, thank you. I'm glad you enjoy the post. :)

[lmichelle599.livejournal.com]

I've done number 4.

Number 9 happens more often than you'd think. :P

[achacunsagloire.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do #9 all the time. I can't help it at this point. xD

[germankitty]

Suggestion for #13: Learn the difference between "lie/lay". Just because everybody and their aunt says so, "laid" is NOT the correct past tense for someone to lie down!

And thank you for this post!

[achacunsagloire.livejournal.com]

Funny thing: someone mentioned "lie/lay" as a possible #12 when this post was up for proofreading.

And no problem! :)