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fandom_grammarWelcome to another edition of Say What?. Today is all about influence—the influence others have over us, particularly when we’re young, and that we have over our own futures. Let us discuss the sayings “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” and “the boy is the father to the man.”
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world
Who is the most important or most present person in our lives as we’re growing up? For most of us, it’s our mothers. Our mothers are there nearly all the time, raising us, disciplining us, encouraging us and more. Because they’re always there in our consciousness, mothers have a lot of influence over what we do and think and become.
What does this have to do with cradles and ruling the world? Well, back in the olden days, mothers were all stay-at-home mothers, which meant that they had profound power over their children and how they grew up simply because they were there with them all the time. This idea of mothers influencing their children as they grew to adulthood was distilled into the saying the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
The phrase was used as part of a poem by William Ross Wallace, originally published in 1865 as “What Rules the World”. It’s interesting to note that this is only shortly after Coventry Patmore published his poem that has come to symbolize the perfect Victorian woman, “The Angel in the House,” just one of a slew of books and poems published at the time that relegated a woman to being a wife and mother and little more.
The first part of the saying is often used to stand for the whole. You may be familiar with it in that form as the title of a movie starring Rebecca DeMornay, who takes a position as a nanny in a family she believes has wronged her in order to wreak vengeance upon them. She does this by subverting the affections of the children away from their mother … because she’s there with them all the time.
Of course, it doesn’t have to be anything sinister or awful, but an ironic use is common:
The boy is the father to the man
While this saying seems to be complementary to the saying above about mothers, it’s really saying something quite different. It’s not about a boy idolizing his father or, more light-heartedly, about complicated genetics as in the song “I’m My Own Grandpa” by Ray Stevens. Instead, what this saying really means is that what we’re like as children informs the adults we become. To generalize—if we’re well-behaved children, we’ll grow up into law-abiding adults and so on.
The phrase is often also seen as the boy is the father of the man, or sometimes as the boy is father to/of the man. It was most famously used by William Wordsworth in his poem “My Heart Leaps Up,” though Wordsworth used “child” instead of “boy.”
It’s meant to be encouraging, but of course Dawn thinks it’s weird:
These sayings will come in handy when you want to talk about how children in your stories will turn out … or maybe how they have turned out if they’ve already grown up. Were they heavily influenced by a parental figure? Do they show promising indications for the future? You’ll be able to slip these sayings into your stories. However, perhaps the most useful saying about children and parents is the one that tells you to look at your significant other’s parents if you want to know what he or she will be like in twenty years.
Sources:
The Free Dictionary here and here
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle
Cambridge Dictionary
The boy is the father to the man
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world
Who is the most important or most present person in our lives as we’re growing up? For most of us, it’s our mothers. Our mothers are there nearly all the time, raising us, disciplining us, encouraging us and more. Because they’re always there in our consciousness, mothers have a lot of influence over what we do and think and become.
What does this have to do with cradles and ruling the world? Well, back in the olden days, mothers were all stay-at-home mothers, which meant that they had profound power over their children and how they grew up simply because they were there with them all the time. This idea of mothers influencing their children as they grew to adulthood was distilled into the saying the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
The phrase was used as part of a poem by William Ross Wallace, originally published in 1865 as “What Rules the World”. It’s interesting to note that this is only shortly after Coventry Patmore published his poem that has come to symbolize the perfect Victorian woman, “The Angel in the House,” just one of a slew of books and poems published at the time that relegated a woman to being a wife and mother and little more.
The first part of the saying is often used to stand for the whole. You may be familiar with it in that form as the title of a movie starring Rebecca DeMornay, who takes a position as a nanny in a family she believes has wronged her in order to wreak vengeance upon them. She does this by subverting the affections of the children away from their mother … because she’s there with them all the time.
Of course, it doesn’t have to be anything sinister or awful, but an ironic use is common:
Vetting the new texts was exhausting work. Dawn read the next paragraph aloud to see if it made more sense. “‘Many of William the Bloody’s exploits were without doubt performed to impress and woo his sire Drusilla, commonly called the Mad. His devotion to her went far beyond that of most newly-created vampires to their sires, despite what is said about the hand that rocks the cradle.’ Where does a cradle come into this?” she asked, confused. She scribbled a hasty note in the margin and decided enough was enough for one night.
The boy is the father to the man
While this saying seems to be complementary to the saying above about mothers, it’s really saying something quite different. It’s not about a boy idolizing his father or, more light-heartedly, about complicated genetics as in the song “I’m My Own Grandpa” by Ray Stevens. Instead, what this saying really means is that what we’re like as children informs the adults we become. To generalize—if we’re well-behaved children, we’ll grow up into law-abiding adults and so on.
The phrase is often also seen as the boy is the father of the man, or sometimes as the boy is father to/of the man. It was most famously used by William Wordsworth in his poem “My Heart Leaps Up,” though Wordsworth used “child” instead of “boy.”
It’s meant to be encouraging, but of course Dawn thinks it’s weird:
Dawn stared down at the information on Spike that would be required reading at the new Watcher Academy and finally said the words that she’d been keeping inside since Sunnydale. “Spike wasn’t like other vampires. He was able to care about us as more than just walking blood bags. Why?”
Giles pulled off his glasses. “I, ah, I have a theory about that. While the vampire demon takes over the human, sometimes, if-if the human is strong enough, it can affect the vampire in some way. It can inform how the vampire turns out … rather like how the boy is father to the man.”
Dawn wrinkled her nose. “Ew, Giles, that makes it sound like some kind of creepy incest thing.”
These sayings will come in handy when you want to talk about how children in your stories will turn out … or maybe how they have turned out if they’ve already grown up. Were they heavily influenced by a parental figure? Do they show promising indications for the future? You’ll be able to slip these sayings into your stories. However, perhaps the most useful saying about children and parents is the one that tells you to look at your significant other’s parents if you want to know what he or she will be like in twenty years.
Sources:
The Free Dictionary here and here
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle
Cambridge Dictionary
The boy is the father to the man
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