Answer: Word Order for Dialog Tags That Use Pronouns

[chomiji]

china_shop asked us "Does the word order in speech tags change based on whether a pronoun or proper noun is used?"

Or in other words, are there actual rules about whether you should be saying "Sebastian said" or "said Sebastian" – or, for that matter, "He said" or "Said he"?

Consider this very simple sentence:

Ceil drank his tea.

This brief statement illustrates the normal English sentence structure, subject verb object:

subject	verb	object
Ceil	drank	[his] tea

As lady_ganesh pointed out in our earlier article on this subject, dialog tags that follow this pattern are the most natural and, in most cases, the most suitable:

Ceil said, "I don't think I want anything to eat."

"We'll see. Today's tea is an exquisitely crafted oolong from the island of Formosa, with a balanced body and a fresh fragrance," Sebastian replied. "To accompany it, I have cucumber sandwiches on thinly sliced fresh brown bread, orange-almond scones, and rolled brandy snaps with ginger cream."

The simple inversion of this pattern, using verb subject, is also fairly common:

"Ooh, Sebastian, I do like you in shirtsleeves!" cooed Grell.

Note that in this example, the tag comes after the quoted dialog. Although it's not actually wrong to have the verb subject tag before the dialog, it is a bit unusual:

Said Snake, "Let's get out of here, now. 'Time is of the essence,' says Wordsworth."

There is no simple rule for when you are "allowed" to use this inverted form, but every time you do something with the language that the reader doesn't expect, you break the flow of the writing.

Now that we've reviewed the basic issue of word order in dialog tags, we're ready to tackle china_shop's actual question, which is an interesting one. Does using a pronoun instead of a proper noun (a name, or possibly an epithet such as "the butler") make a difference? Let's take a look:

Ceil said, "I don't think I want anything to eat."

Said Ceil, "I don't think I want anything to eat."

He said, "I don't think I want anything to eat."

Said he, "I don't think I want anything to eat."

The use of the pronoun, so unobtrusive in the normal subject-verb order, seems to draw attention to the fact that the usual order has been inverted. The effect can be antiquated, humorous, or both. My answer is therefore that although there is no rule saying that the verb-subject order should not be used in dialog tags that depend on pronouns, you may want to avoid doing this unless you're trying for some specific effect.

To sum up: your language choices should support your message to your reader. If inverting the word order in the dialog tag helps with that, then go for it — regardless of whether a pronoun is involved or not. Don't, however, let your reader's attention to the flow of your story or article falter for no good reason.

Sources

• ANSWER: "He said" vs. "Said he" (Fandom Grammar)
• Is there a difference between “Joe said” and “said Joe”? (English Language & Usage / Stack Exchange)
• The Craft of Writing V: Dialogue Tags (S.L. Armstrong, author, blog)

 

Comments

[china_shop]

Thank you for this! The one that always trips me up (which I find myself correcting when betaing) is: "Blah blah blah," Peter said. Because it looks so much more natural to me like this: "Blah blah blah," said Peter. But I do get that it's a style thing, rather than being technically wrong, and I appreciate very much how you've set this out. Kudos! :-)

[chomiji]

I'm glad it helped! Thanks for reading!